Viktoria trains and supports War Child’s local partners to deliver our joint programmes in Ukraine. As a psychologist, she also works with children living through prolonged stress and trauma and with the adults supporting them.
“One basic technique is listening. When we listen, the child can open up,” Viktoria explains. “Psychology offers many tools to listen to children - whether toys or art therapy elements - but you don’t need a degree to listen. All you need is humanity and a genuine desire for the child to share.”
But war builds walls around children. “For children who experience violence - and we say war is the ultimate form of violence - the ‘three no’s’ mechanism comes into play. Don’t trust, don’t talk, don’t feel.”
Behind those walls are children trying to survive experiences they do not yet have the words for. “So, to reach children, you need a lot of love, sensitivity, and patience just to be there for them,” Viktoria says. “That’s why this is so key in my work with children.”
As children grow older, the effects of war often change shape. “Kids either shut down or become overly aggressive. I’ve noticed that teens and older children now want to protect adults more.”
Often, parents are carrying their own heavy burden, Viktoria says. “What’s most frightening is when adults themselves experience the trauma and consequences of loss. This affects adults as they try to meet urgent needs, survive, and organise life at home when a spouse is gone.”
Instead of being cared for, many children begin to carry the emotional weight of their families. “They stop sharing what’s bothering them with parents or guardians because mom and dad already have so many problems - so why add to them?”
“That’s why it’s important for the people close to the child to work together - grandparents, siblings, neighbours, and the wider community in which the child lives. Our work isn’t just about working directly with children - it’s about the wider circle. By supporting community members, parents, and caregivers, we’re also helping children.”
Oleksiy, Vice President of the All-Ukrainian Foundation for the Protection of Children's Rights, War Child’s local partner, sees this every day.
“A girl comes to our space with her mother,” he recalls. “Lately, she has been attending classes [mental health and wellbeing sessions], but her condition has worsened instead of improving.”
“The girl’s father came home [from the frontline] injured and is now disabled. He is depressed, unable to give her the attention he used to, and the girl has autism... She was used to her father playing with her, but now he’s disabled - lying in bed all day, smoking, drinking beer due to depression - and doesn’t engage with her.”
With this understanding, the response changed.
“Our psychologist noticed this. They’ve developed a separate programme and want to involve the father,” Oleksiy says. “They helped the mother connect with social services and arranged appropriate social support for the father so he could join a veterans’ support group.”
“This is exactly why we do community mapping,” he explains. “The goal is to take a comprehensive approach to support this child, whose condition [mental health] has been deteriorating.”
