Diana shares how fear, stress and trauma shape her children’s lives and how community support helps her family cope, recharge and find hope four years into the full-scale war.
Diana is a mother of three from Kyiv. She has lived in Ukraine throughout the war, refusing to leave the land her family has called home for seven generations. She speaks about the impact of war on families and the importance of community at The Umbrella Centre, a centre supported by War Child.
“My name is Diana. I have two girls, they’re (Maria) nine and (Anastasia) seven. And there are also a little boy who is two.
My whole family has always lived here. And for me, it’s frightening to imagine something happening to this place, that it could be taken away. I grew up here, and so did my parents. I can take my kids to the river, to the forest. I know every corner of this place. It’s my source of strength. It’s right here
We’ve been living in Ukraine throughout this entire war. We never left. At first, we didn’t understand what was really happening. But as more information started coming in, fear set in. Real, strong fear and the realisation that we could end up caught in it [the fighting] ourselves.
Even though we live in a relatively quiet area, the fear doesn’t go away. Thoughts about what to do next are always there. Constant news of explosions involving friends or acquaintances is always coming up.
There’s still stress. But this place [the centre], well, for us, it’s where we heal from that stress. We get distracted from it all, we recharge. We relax here, regain our strength, and draw the energy we need to keep going. It even gives us inspiration. These situations are incredibly heavy, emotionally exhausting.
That’s why the support we get from our community is so important. When something happens, we can turn to them, and they’re there for us. That means a lot, and we truly value it.
My children also know this is a place where they can turn to people for help. They know they can share problems here that they’d be too embarrassed to tell us, their parents. They trust these people. To them, they’re like teachers, mentors, close and supportive.
For the kids, coming here feels like a special event they really look forward to. They know there’s going to be a class, and they can’t wait to come because they know something exciting will happen. At the centre, the kids can gather, learn new things, and experience something different. It’s also an emotional release. They relax, recharge, and come home happy, talking non-stop about how fun it was.
[In 2022] My younger daughter was not quite four at the time. She didn’t really understand what was going on. With the older kids, we tried not to go into too much detail, to explain things gently. But in the end, we realised children need to know the truth, because one way or another, they’ll find it out. But of course, it affects them too. I can see how they start to worry, get nervous, and develop little signs of stress. They bite their nails, scratch at things, chew on toys. Kids react in their own ways.
And they pick up on our emotions too. When we read the news, when we hear that someone from our city has died in the war, we react, and the kids feel it through us. So they understand more than we think. But I don’t sit them down and turn on the news, like, “Look, this just happened.” I try to explain the reality in a way they can handle, so they understand the real dangers.
This is just their reality, growing up in times like these. But we do everything we can to make sure they still have a happy childhood. And this place really helps give them that joy. Kids need their parents to be mentally healthy first and foremost. I believe a child’s wellbeing depends a lot on their parents’ wellbeing. If psychological support is needed, it has to include both children and parents. Kids should grow up in emotionally healthy families, surrounded by love, understanding, and kindness. It’s hard to look at the child alone. You really have to look at the family as a whole. So many families have gone through trauma and loss, and support has to address all of it.
Centres like these are a huge help, because trained psychologists can work with children and help them cope. My older kids find it easier to open up to a trusted specialist about things they might feel too embarrassed to share with us as parents. In my opinion, centres like this are the future.
I come here regularly. For me, it’s a place where I can step away from everything. On top of that, I get tired from the daily grind, I have three young kids. This is also a place for my own personal growth, where I hear new things, meet interesting people, and connect with others.
Coming here feels like visiting a familiar place. It’s close to home, but it gives me a new perspective, a chance to recharge, and go back to my kids as a calmer, happier, more balanced mom.
I truly hope the war will end soon and that we’ll be able to rebuild our country, with the help of other nations willing to support us. Get stronger. My children will grow up here, in peace, in Ukraine. I know many people who have left, but they still want to be here. Because no matter how things turn out, this is our home, the place we want to come back to, the place we don’t want to leave unless we absolutely have to.
That’s why I believe. I don’t just hope, I believe.”
